8 Lessons to Learn From the Gurbaksh Chahal Girlfriend Incident
I just opened Facebook and read some very shocking news. “Indian-origin tech CEO Gurbaksh Chahal ducks jail despite beating girlfriend 117 times”. It came as a shock to me because, I was following him on Facebook and admired him as an inspiring Entrepreneur. From 335K followers on his Facebook page and 140K followers on his Twitter profile (both verified), you can guess that I am not the only one inspired by him, and shocked after reading this news. Though he claimed that all these allegations are false on Twitter. But I am not writing this post to judge him or support him. Rather I am writing this post so that we all can learn some lessons from this incident, to live our best lives.
About the Incident
Incase you want to know what happened, here is the post from Times of India about Gurbaksh Chahal that appeared on my Timeline. But please don’t focus much of your attention on the negative incident.
And here is the article covering what Gurbaksh had to say about this incident.
Lessons We Can Learn From the Incident
Now let media cook the negative story about Gurbaksh Chahal, and let us focus on learning some positive lessons for betterment of our lives.
- Learn From Everyone, But Never Worship Anyone: I can’t remember exactly who said this priceless lesson. Possibly Jim Rohn. But I heard this line in a video, long after learning the lesson in a hard way. I used to really worship my mentors when I started my journey of Entrepreneurship in 2007, at the age of 19. But gradually when I came to know about their true face behind the public mask, I was shattered. As I was very young and immature at that time, I wasted much valuable time being angry at them, cursing them, feeling heartbroken, being angry with myself for trusting them so much in the first place. And the worse of all, I started doubting my dreams or the lessons I learned from them. But I’m glad I realized this lesson quick. I understood that everyone around us has something good to teach us. But nobody is that perfect to be worshiped blindly.
From the reactions of Gurbaksh Chahal’s fans on his Twitter and Facebook account, I can understand what they are going through, as I went through the same few years back. Hope they learn the lesson from this.
- Focus on the Teachings, Not on the Teacher: Something very similar to the last lesson, but worth mentioning separately. Now as people are finding out this incident about Gurbaksh (assuming he is really guilty of the accusations), many of them will start doubting the inspiring lessons he had been sharing over time. Many will start doubting their own dreams, which they took being inspired by his example. Don’t do that. Please understand it once and for all: A teacher not only shares what they already know and can follow, but also what they are still learning and may be having trouble following. I do that too. And there is nothing wrong in that. And neither you should doubt the lessons for the personal limitation of any particular teacher.
- Everyone Makes Mistakes: Now please don’t misinterpret me. I am no way justifying what Gurbaksh Chahal had done with his girlfriend, but I just want you to understand that no one is perfect. The person you idolize, or consider as your inspiration or mentor is also a common human being at the end of the day. And their probability of making a mistake is equally likely as ours. So please don’t keep any unrealistic expectation from anyone. Let me share an incident from my personal experience. It happened few years back. Usually I am very cool minded person, having complete control over my temper. But I was not like that 7-8 years back. I had anger issues, so I worked a lot on it. But obviously people I was coaching, had never seen me angry. One day, I was really having a very difficult time, and I lost temper infront of a very close student of mine. I just shouted for 30 sec. No harsh words, just shouted. Got back to sense within minute, said sorry. But that student of mine said “I didn’t expect this from you” and left. Never ever contacted me again. So what didn’t he expect from me? That I can also make mistakes?
- It Takes Years to Build Reputation, But Seconds to Shatter It: I don’t think it needs much explanation. History is crowded with countless examples. One recent example being the demise of Golf legend Tiger Woods. Trust me, maintaining a good reputation is not a rocket science. Be a genuinely good human being. Otherwise if you build your reputation on fake public impression, today or tomorrow truth will come out and shatter it for sure.
- Professional Success Doesn’t Always Mean A Good Life: If someone is successful professionally, having huge money, name, fame, that doesn’t mean that the person is living a good life. Unfortunately many celebrities portraying a picture perfect life, are actually living totally frustrated and uninspiring lives. That’s why I always suggest to everyone to be a good human being, along with aiming for huge professional success.
- There is Nothing Wrong with Being Rich and Successful Either: Now whenever these incidents come up in light, the tone of discussion in a poor or middle class family is as follows: “Read the news about Gurbaksh? This is what happens in high society! Money corrupts your mind. Success makes you arrogant….”. Blah blah blah. And they brainwash youth not to dream big and just settle for mediocrity. Total bullshit. As if these incidents doesn’t happen in poor or middle class families! May be happening daily around the world. But as the rich and successful people are under media’s radar, their shits get quick limelight in the media. And a tortured housewife in a poor/ middle class family swallows husband’s beating in the evening, and surrender their body again in the night drinking their tears. Understand this, you can be a rich and successful person being a good human being. Don’t let anyone brainwash you otherwise. Read my past article about Rajarshi- King from Outside and Saint from Inside.
- Be Careful About the Internet: Now I love and admire internet for the freedom of speech it has given to general public. But one should be careful about sharing their personal stuffs online. Don’t ever update when you are disturbed. Let me give you an example. You are particularly annoyed by a senior in your office. And you vent off your anger on Facebook. Unfortunately your company monitors your profile, and you get sacked next day. Another example from personal life. You have an argument with your spouse, and you update something harsh about them. For some reason, it gets viral and now all over the internet. Now can you two ever patch up again? So handle internet carefully.
- You Can Always Learn Something Good from Worst Possible Situations: That is what we are doing here, right? If you know about Law of Attraction, you surely understand that whatever you give your attention to, grows in your life. So whenever you find or face something bad or negative in life, instead of damaging your brain and life analyzing it, immediately ask yourself “what good things can I learn from this incident?”. Trust me it will magically change your life.
These lessons made sense? Let me know what you think. Don’t forget to share with others if you liked the post.