She is pretty. She is beautiful. She never breaks my heart. She loves me. She smiles at me each time I look at her in the mirror. And I gain confidence in my abilities. She is me.
When was the last time you looked at the mirror and admired yourself without the odd, guilty feeling of narcissism?
Self appreciation vs Self obsession
We often tend to confuse self appreciation with self obsession and feel bad about “being narcissistic”. Whether it is right or wrong, I’m nobody to judge. But this could be damaging. We might feel increasingly dependent on another for a validation of our own beauty and yet, we are still not satisfied. That is the time for introspection: to understand our need to be praised, first by ourselves.
Beauty is a feeling
Beauty, to me is a feeling, like happiness is a state of mind. We feel beautiful and once we do, we are happy. Beauty can never be defined by a pretty face or a jazzy hairdo. It is an attitude, a feeling. Even an assertion. Because each time I feel low and dejected, I softly tell myself ‘Cheer up beautiful’ and voila! There’s a flash on my face and glow in my eyes (and my skin glows too). I feel loved, admired and appreciated. I do not feel the need for appreciation from anyone else. I feel contented and happy. My grin widens and I feel beautiful.
Admire yourself, but don’t be a narcissist
However, let me gently remind you that there is a fine line of distinction between Narcissism and Self Admiration. Admire yourself, but don’t go overboard. Don’t be so engrossed in your own beauty that you forget everything else or become boastful. Be critical of yourself and seek ways to improve and be open to constructive suggestions. There’s no one in the world who can rob you of your looks and charm. Remember that.
Be your favorite company
How many of us stay at home and sulk because they don’t have a company to have coffee with? Or to watch a movie with? Perhaps we forget that we can be our company too. There have been numerous instances when I went off for movies all by myself or walked into a coffee shop and ordered coffee and muffins. Think about it: you do not have to wait for your friend outside the hall even if the movie starts and you can savour the taste of the muffins all by yourself.
Once again, I do not intend to preach in favour of unsocial behaviour or ask you to be selfish. But I would rather ask you to live by your own terms, set your own rules and create the life you want for yourself.
We grow from being egocentric to sociocentric, but somewhere in a bid to be sociable or socially acceptable we tend to forget our need to be ego centric too. The “I” seems to get increasingly lost in the crowd. Because we tend to forget blissfully that by loving ourselves we can love others too and, if we have dated ourselves, we would know the kind of people we want as partners.
Look at the mirror again. What do you see? Do you see yourself smiling? Do you see the flash of happiness on your face? Do you think you can fall in love with yourself? Yes you can. Tell yourself you are beautiful, you are happy and that you love yourself. And someone, somewhere will fall in love with you too.